Things I Can't Tolerate

One of the questions consistently thrown at me these couple of years is, "when you getting married ah?".

One might think, what's the big deal? Well, if it's the first time you're asking me, it's ok, I can answer you in an overly polite manner. Second time, I'd say it matter-of-factly, third dose and pretty darn close to the eruption, answer given with gritted teeth. Fourth is kaboom.

It amazes me, why so many out there are even more 'enthusiastic' about me getting married than I am. We will get married when the time is right and who better to know that other than me and him? You think easy peasy matter to be wedded? Think it's just signing on a few pieces of paper, give aunty uncle drink tea, then yaaaaaaaaam seng one whole night then settle liaw?

Sorry I have to crush your fragile ideas about marriage, but no, it's not just that. It's a large responsibility and before the responsibility begins, me, like many other modern couples, would prefer to have a proper house we can call our own, and of course, financial stability.

And it gets better. Some of these 'questioners' (which normally comprise of folks of a senior category) would then launch into a long-winded lecture about how it is important to plan things out, having kids before hitting 30, no need wait so much money, no need house bla bla bla. Geez... different people have different opinions and while I do not force you to look from my point of view, I'd expect the same from you. And do you actually think that within the 9 months post-wedding a baby is going to pop out??

After so many years of being in a long distance relationship, I could really do with a nice, proper period to enjoy wedded moments before having a new life in the circle. I'm not against having babies but don't you think it's all rather tiring? Imagine the months and months of wedding planning, getting the actually wedding day through, then 9 months of TLC, couple of days in panic and excruciating labour pain, then indefinite number of years comprising of screaming babies, yelling toddlers, mayhem-filled lives.

NO. And I am firm about that. Let ME decide when I want to be married, and when I want to have kids. My life, not yours to determine.

At least Mom and Dad are really cool about all this, never really bringing up the marriage topic, knowing that I am wise and old enough to decide what's good for me. See?? I appreciate the concern people have for me but once is ok, more than that is not. I shall take your advice, but I may not act according to them, thank you very much.

Wah, super long-winded post this is turning out to become.

I also cannot tolerate people who love telling me what I CAN or CANNOT do.

Since young, I've been a really rebellious prat. I've been fighting for my freedom as far as I can remember. Mom used to take heavy parental control over us siblings, which is against my nature. I fought back, again and again to achieve independence.

And now that I'm all grown up, so used to the freedom that I have fought for, suddenly having some people telling me what I can or cannot do.... is something I have not experienced for a long, long time... And I'm telling you, I don't like it one bit. I take pride in the fact that I hardly make decisions on impulse and am wise enough to know what is good or bad for me.

Giving advice and stuff like that is fine... but being confined to do what others want me to.... hell no. It's quite scary sometimes, thinking that I might, in the future, unleash the rebel in me to get a point across. No, I don't want to do that.... so don't force that ugly side out of me!


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